leftunspoken's Diaryland Diary

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No, seriously...

I was at work, sitting in the kitchenette, quietly eating my lunch and staring down at a magazine. A co-worker walked in and asked what I was doing. Without missing a beat, I responded that I was trying to figure out how to steal the wreath on the wall, because I had decided it would be too expensive to buy a Christmas tree. With all sincerity, he said "Really? You probably shouldn't, they might catch you."

Heaven help me, I almost threw my apple at him.

I hate literal people. They should be used as target practice.

Or at the very least, they should be made to wear signs warning you of their condition.

Something along the lines of: "I do not possess the aural ability to detect the inflection in your voice that might indicate sarcasm or wit. Nor do I have the intelligence to infer from the inappropriateness of your comment that you might not be serious."

Wait...That would be a really big sign.

How about: "Please, don't be funny...I won't get it."

That might work.

3:51 p.m. - December 16, 2002

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