leftunspoken's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Like a horror movie. Attack of the... My breasts have gotten bigger. I am 29 years old damn it, and my breasts have gotten bigger. This is unacceptable. Breasts have been known to do things such as this, but usually in response to catastrophic life events such as puberty, pregnancy, or significant weight gain. None of these apply to me. I went bra shopping last night with my twin sister (as she is in town, and this is a sisterly type of thing to do), and I couldn't fit them into anything I tried on. What's that? Unh-huh, I see. You think I should just try a larger size then. Well, it's very sweet of you to try to help darling, but ummm...NO. I refuse to where a DD bra. I just won't. You can't make me. Have you ever seen a DD bra? They're huge. I could fit my head in there. I could hang it by it's huge clasps from my balcony and swing on it. And they're white. And the shoulder straps are an inch wide, so that instead of having a little tiny indentation where your bra strap has been all day, you have a lovely inch-wide indentation. And the very worst part is the band around your back is so big. They're just so...authoritarian. The only time I ever wore one of these nice, sensible, white, bras-that-I-wasn't-popping-out-of, I freaked-out about 20 minutes from my house, ripped the clasps open, yanked it off through my sleeve, and went braless for the rest of the day. I'm claustrophobic you see, and well they're just on you, squishing you, and then you can't breathe, and, and...excuse me just a second...*pant, pant, pant* Ok, sorry about that. Just thinking about it upsets me. What? I'm sorry, I thought you mumbled something about drama queens. My bad. Anyway, I like little strappy barely-there bras. Ones that fit under my little strappy barely-there shirts. Oh, shut up! I'm not slutty. It's Texas. It's hot. So there it is. My boobs are bigger. And now what am I supposed to do? I weighed myself this morning when I got to work, and I began wondering just how much these things weigh. I mean, I really don't think I should have to count them. I should be allowed to deduct them from my actual weight, ya know...like shoes. Cuz I'm pretty sure they're heavy if my backaches are any indication. And if I could deduct them, it would make my BMI at most a 21. 8:05 a.m. - March 21, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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