leftunspoken's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \"why I shouldn't date\" or \"guns are our friends\" So I've had some clarification on him. You know...the disappearing man. And I would like to say: "It's better to know the truth. I'm just relieved to have answers." But I won't. Because that's bullshit. I would have rather been left in the dark. I don't want to go into it right now, but finding out what really happened, has made me feel like I was mugged. Worse. Like someone planned an attack on me and then carried it out. Perhaps I'm being melodramatic. I'm sure things from his perspective didn't seem as ruthless. But we don't care about the perspective of lying, cheating jerks now do we? We care about me. Or at least I do. And I feel as if my entire perception of reality and truth has been shaken and my trust and belief in people has been shattered. I feel like everything everyone says must be held away from me and examined. I feel like there might be danger everywhere. Like my life is not a safe place to live. I feel...yeah...I feel like I was attacked. And I feel scared of people now. And I don't want to be a victim and I don't want to be afraid. But for now I can't help it. I think it's going to take a long time to shake this one off. 12:33 p.m. - August 14, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||