leftunspoken's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The muppets are keeping me from getting laid I love the muppets to what is probably an abnormal magnitude. Scene: Saturday night. Dimly-lit, incense-scented, single-girl apartment. Cleaned spotless during the day. Christmas decorations plentiful but not over-done. Said single-girl dressed in stretchy low-rise boot-leg dark blue jeans, tight charcoal-grey v-necked sweater that accentuates her double-Ds without looking slutty, black spiked-heel fuck-me boots. Hair curled and feathered into a (70's) Charlie's Angels manner. Pefectly applied make-up. Single-girl ready to walk out the door to meet friends for drinks. First she stops to turn off tv that has been background noise in addition to the stereo while she got ready. Single-girl discovers that a Muppet Christmas movie has started ten minutes previously. She stops in front of the television smiling like a slow dog. She discovers not only is it the Muppets, it is not a movie she has ever seen before. Single girl turns stereo off, turns tv up, and sits on couch. Single girl calls friends ten minutes later and says she's terribly sorry, but she won't be making it. Single girl spends next two hours watching Muppet movie still smiling like a slow dog, then decides to go to WalMart for eggnog. And I have the nerve to wonder why I don't have much of a social life. 9:24 a.m. - December 08, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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