leftunspoken's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- going, going, gone Why is it so very easy for me to run? I'll take whatever pain and suffering you dish out. For years sometimes. Then one day it's enough. And I'm over you. Whether you are a job, a friend, a lover, an addiction, an obsession. When I wave goodbye you look shocked and beg for backwards. Babbling sorries and changes. And it would be easier, but I can't do it. Because the answer beating inside my skull is run, don't look back, forgive but don't forget, close your eyes, start over. And I do. Wondering if I should. Wondering if I am pushing away everyone and everything that has ever been mine because I couldn't look at them anymore. Couldn't love them anymore. Couldn't want them anymore. Because suddenly it was too late. Maybe I'm lazy and stubborn. Maybe I'm heartless. Perhaps I should warn you that you're pushing me too far and in a minute I'll be gone. But it's not in me. Not yet. I may not have a voice but you can bet I know the escape routes in any situation. I shoved Sam away. Ancient history circling our hearts and spines. But there was the last straw, clenched between her teeth and spit upon my back. And I broke without even goodbye. Tell me it was immature. Tell me grown-ups make nice. I'll listen quietly and consider your words. Then I'll whisper sweetly that I spent 1,000 years in a childhood of making nice in insanity and pain and now that my legs can carry me away from cruelty...that will always be my first choice. You wanna fix it, chase me. Maybe you'll reach my reason through my instinct, but you'll have to find me first. 9:39 a.m. - December 16, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||