leftunspoken's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two weddings, two baptisms, and a phone call A weekend that was a lifetime that was somehow full of both futures and pasts. A double wedding and double baptism which sounds like possibly the longest mass EVER, but wasn't. A night out that found me extremely popular and sloshy drunk for the first time in a long time. (Uncertain if the popular was because of the sloshy or vice versa.) A lack of sleep that made me feel loved and needed. Drifting into a loving house, people everywhere talking over their bowls of menudo and making the honey-do lists. Decorating with four fabulous women and one good man. Covering all the fresh starts with pink and white streamers, and roses, and swans. A party in a beautiful ($9) black and white dress that showed off my tan. Dancing until I laughed and smiling at the toasts until I cried. A beautiful celebration. The last two hours spent with a handsome man related to the bride who fell asleep with his head and one hand on my breasts. (Of course he is only 5 months old, so this wasn't as inappropriate in public as you might have worried.) He ate well, smiled at me, didn't spit up, still smelled of the baptism oil, and felt warm and perfect in my arms. It was the best date I've had in years. Finally, an afternoon spent in the pool. A good library book. A lovely dinner with friends. A late phone call and a strange number that found an old friend on the line. He called. I missed him terribly the past year and he called. He's in pain but strong. Confused but continuing. His voice brought rain and thunder and the majority of the conversation was held with me just out of (and sometimes in) the reach of the rain that was blowing onto my balcony. I cradled his voice and his worries as best I could with him miles away, wanting the whole time to hold him against my breast the way I had the baby the night before. Finally letting him go, both of us only a few hours away from the new day and work. A promise of soon. A visit for him to look forward to. Because I have a feeling he needs something to look forward to, and he's worth the map and the drive. So a lifetime. Wish it were, and hope it is, and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, and what will it be...all of them there. And my heart aches for so many reasons. But life goes on. 8:23 a.m. - June 28, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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