leftunspoken's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Because fractured is all I can manage on a Monday A few random, fractured thoughts: I'm curvy. Not fat, not even chubby really. Size 7. Okay maybe a little chubby. But mostly just curvy. Short, big boobs, short-waisted, soft middle, girl hips. Would I look better if I lost 10 lbs.? Probably. Do I particularly care? Nope. I'm pretty content with my body most days. Inner beauty always shines through my friends. The point: I apparently leave people with the impression that I'm fat. It's that curvy thing. People who've known me, picture me and see round, so that when I'm not in front of them all they see is round. I've weighed between 110 and 119 lbs for the past five years. (That can be from one day to the next.) No real variance at all. Yet, people who run into me, after having not seen me in several months or a couple of years always say "Oh my goodness. You've lost so much weight." It always sort of leaves me blinking. I'm so used to it now, I just say "thank you." It's a societal thing anyway. People naturally assume it's a compliment, along the lines of "My what a pretty color on you." It's a little annoying though. I'm such a people pleaser too, I don't even argue. I wonder what people would say if I pointed out that "NO. In fact I haven't lost weight or changed my hair." Speaking of people pleaser: A friend at my day job teased me to no end the other day. (Pleasing is a terrible disease. Don't get me wrong, I do stand up for myself, but generally speaking...) Anyway, the other day a vendor mispelled my name on a fax order they sent me to review. (I've one of those names that can be spelled only two different ways.) Rather than correct it on the fax I sent back, I actually signed my name the other way. (So as not to confuse her, or make her feel bad.) *ducking head and looking sheepish* Yes, I know. I should be medicated and counseled, I'm sure. This is part of why it came as no surprise when I did the MyersBriggs through the link from the darling-brilliant ScienceGirl only to discover I'm an ESFJ which according to the lengthy but fascinating description has all sorts of things to do with being an utter chameleon in an effort to make others happy and keep things pleasant and peaceful. No wonder men adore me. (After I leave them that is. {See last entry.}) I have to move. They're raising my rent and now I have to move. *whimper* I can't even face it. Wish me luck. I'm trying to manage a trip to a pumpkin patch in the next week. That should do much to satisfy my inner Linus. There was something else I meant to put down, but to add to the fractured theme, I seem to have forgotten it. So that'll be enough. 3:13 p.m. - October 18, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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