leftunspoken's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ghosts and tigers Well there was a weekend. At least I'm pretty sure that's what it was, having been wedged between last week and this new one so to speak. I had Friday night off, which should have been nice and productive and other things. Instead it was full of ghosts. The only way I know to appease ghosts is to do things that hurt me. They've been so quiet the past four months, I'd almost forgotten they exist. Wait. Not true. They are always there, but sometimes they are sleepy and still and let me live without screaming my name, or filling the space behind my eyes with horrible pictures and panic and guilt. So I made them leave. The only way I know how. And I have the marks to prove it. Of which I am always so ashamed. Saturday was better. Structure is good for me and I had to work. Okay money. *meh* Sunday we had a bike run, so I had to work my day off. But it was fun. And there was this guy there with a baby tiger. So I got to pet a tiger, which was beyond cool. He was four months old and just...wow. The tiger is one of my favorite animals. My absolute fav at the zoo. The one I sit by and just watch for an hour. And also it's my Chinese one. Anyway lying in a tiger's bed stroking his face and paws and tummy, and nuzzling the soft place between his eyes with my nose was amazing. And a much better way to chase away pain than my other method. If anyone wants to see the pictures let me know. I can't post stuff because I'm too ghetto to buy a gold membership, but I could email them. Love to love you, M.J.L.S. 2:06 p.m. - November 08, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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