leftunspoken's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The problem My mind is a million grains of sand swept in the wind, when you blow. My heart is painted jagged in dark blue and self defense. I am every empty can you kicked...wondering where will the ride end. I am not your target, I just wander in the way. Or maybe it's that I wonder in the wrong way. What is it you want? Sorry darling, but I've got more important people to protect now. I can kiss your every wound, but cannot heal your scars, as much as I would like to. And I won't let your past hurt us. I'm "Us" now. And I love you with all of my heart, but if you think I won't tear you to shreds if you make me feel unsafe, you're very wrong. Ah, but that's the sad thing...you think that and worse. Because you expect it and don't know how not to. You don't even know you're doing it. Expecting the worst from me. Mad at reactions and emotions that were never mine. Defensive when you were never even accused...not by me. God help us both. You're like me actually. Living in extremes. So that when it's good, it's so good. We love each other so much. But you don't know how to function when there is something sad or hard to talk about. You automatically try to protect yourself from my hatred, or my blame. When there isn't any. I know you spent your life protecting yourself from great harm, but you don't have to protect yourself from me. You don't know how to discuss or argue without going into brawling mode. And I don't know how to stop you. 1:42 p.m. - January 07, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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