leftunspoken's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Explanations for my Self I'm feeling a little weird about yesterday's entry. I'm not embarrased in any way. But I tend to be a little remote. I'm terribly outgoing, friendly, etc. But I keep a lot of myself away from people. Friends will think they "get" me, and months or years will go by and I'll sort of surprise them with things they never knew. They say it's annoying, but they love me anyway. God bless them. I think everyone is a little like that. Think about it...how often (outside of long-term intimate relationships) do even your friends really know you? Don't you ever just feel like pinning-down someone, anyone and telling them how you like your toast and why you love sunrises and your favorite place to be touched. Don't you ever just want to be KNOWN, and loved because of everything you are, not just the surface you? And by surface - I don't mean appearance. Shallow doesn't only apply to looks - some people are so lacking in emotional depth you can't even sense their soul. They speak or write and they are so empty you can hear the echo. Anyway...yesterday was one of those days. This diary is concrete. It's a captive audience. I can pin it down and tell it who I am. And yesterday I felt like it. Ya' know, come to think of it...it's not the entry that made me uncomfortable. It's that it is only a beginning. But I'll say more as I feel the need. And maybe some day, I will be here. Written on concrete not water. 11:21 a.m. - December 11, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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