leftunspoken's Diaryland Diary

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I will name him Lambert.

I want a Cotton-Headed Tamarin.

I went to the zoo and stood in the dark, humid cave that houses them and stared for thirty minutes. He sort of stared at me too.

I think he thought I had become a new adjacent exhibit. The City Zoo now announces the proud addition of the endangered "Hippy Trippy Chick."

Natural Habitat: Second floor, Suburban apartment, slightly messy.

Diet: Normally survives on coffee, vanilla Zingers, Fruit, Dr. Pepper, and sugarless gum. Occassionally suplemented by dinner dates accepted for the sole purpose of having something interesting to eat.

Appearance: Cutoffs, baby-blue Nike's, and white halter top. Note the large unusual ink-like markings on lower back, upper back, and ankle. Small, sparkly tracking device pierced through navel.

Mating Habits: Rare. Damn it.

Social Structure: Female separates from family after reaching adulthood so they will not eat her alive. Female searches for mate, but becomes infatuated with distant, unavailable, occasionally cruel, physically perfect males, or kind, intelligent, handsome males who already have a mate. Female decides fuck them, consumes lots of alcohol, and buys a vibrator.

Sorry...tangent.

Anyway I covet the Tamarins. They're little lion-shaped monkeys with manes. They walk on four feet like a lion.

Please, oh please, can I have one. I'll love it, and pet it, feed it, and it will play on my bookshelf and my balcony, and it will sit on my shoulder and my lap and it will love me.

11:42 a.m. - February 03, 2003

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