leftunspoken's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- please don't say it I heard a voice saying my name again last night while falling asleep. Last night it was my mother's voice. That alone makes me cringe regardless of the words. Even when she's being kind, her voice makes me want to duck. Shrug shoulders quick and involuntary, to protect the soft back of my neck. Awaiting the blow to the back of the head from guilt or judgement or whatever. Fuck. Two for flinching. Not fair in my sleep. My defenses aren't up when I'm curled, one leg under one leg over my pillow, knee bent almost to my chest, and chin tucked. Not fair at all to call my name then, unless you love me and are whispering goodnight warm into my soft places. 10:31 a.m. - May 14, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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