leftunspoken's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Looking for things that aren't coming Confused by weather today. Normally it's whether that baffles me. It's been beautiful here. Feeling much like summer. So warm I ran the air conditioner for a few defiant, i-don't-care-what-the-electric-bill-is minutes Friday night. Then today a chilly morning, drizzling rain. And I thought sleepily to myself while dressing for work, that "I just am not ready for winter to come." Then it dawned on me that winter isn't coming; summer hasn't even come yet...it was just a random chilly morning. Silly rabbit. Confused by lots of things lately. People's purpose in my life, plans, dreams, desires. All of it a dull ache in my chest that occasionally steals my breath. Jonesing for drama and that bruised and raw feeling you get after lots of sex. Missing both so much, that my jaw hurts from clenching my teeth. 8:40 a.m. - March 22, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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