leftunspoken's Diaryland Diary

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fuck (Yeah, I know. I tried to think of a witty title but this just sums it up too well.)

By the way. Just thought I'd mention...

The questionable "relationship" with Mr. NotSoWonderful is over.

I use the word relationship, because if I'm forced to accurately identify it as a train-wreck or a fiasco I'll be forced to cry or get chest pains again and I've had quite enough of that, thank you very much.

You in the back, the one who picked 71 days and 19 hours, you won the "When Will She Discover This One Is A Selfish, Useless, Opportunistic Bastard, Who Wouldn't Know a Good Thing If It Hit Him In The Head With A Meat Tenderizer" contest. Good job. I'll send you my heart in the mail just as soon as I scrape it off the floor. Or maybe just a gift certificate.

And at spring too. Spring is where my ghosts live. Awful things that like to scratch me awake or keep me wide-eyed and hyperventilating, smacking my head softly and repeatedly into the railing of my balcony, begging anything to make the images stop.

Sorry. I'm okay. Really. And nothing's to say he could've helped that. But at least he would've been a distraction. And he could've kissed me.

God save me.

And in my lovely little frame of mind...a trip. Being shipped off to Kansas City, MO, for a business trip. Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.

Let's see now I'm heartbroken and premenstrual. Packing should go well. If I get up there with only left shoes and an inadequate number of panties, I'm gonna just skip the conference and lie in my hotel bed watching cable tv.

Oh bother.

4:40 p.m. - March 24, 2004

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